So we just started a new series in the student ministry...... Shhhhhhh! I'm not telling you to be quiet, that's the name of the series..... Shhhhhh! Prior to starting it, I didn't tell the kids anything about it other than the name. They thought we were going to be talking about being still and quiet, listening for God's voice, etc.... In actuality, the series is about all the things kids are experiencing, but not talking about with anyone other than each other. Porn, sex, self-mutilation, eating disorders, substance abuse, suicide, etc..... a real "feel good" series. But the point of the series is not the surface issues that we all see, it's about the root problems that manifest themselves into these visible results.
Things like self-centeredness (I know you probably aren't dealing with that with your kids, but I am), lust, and unbelief just to name a few. And by unbelief, I'm talking about the unbelief that God has your best interest in mind. Parents..... our kids think they know best. Thank you Captain Obvious, right? I know that doesn't shock any of you, but sometimes we just choose to ignore the repercussions of issues that are rooted down deep in our kid's hearts.
Things like porn are literally at our kid's fingertips. Gone are the days that finding some old magazine that someone's dad threw away was the only way that you would ever see any of that stuff. Our kids have it on their phone, their game systems (PSP, DS...they can all get wifi), computers, tv, etc...Their ideas of relationships are and what their role is in those relationships are many times completely perverted and distorted.
How do we combat these issues? We speak to our kids consistently about the root issues. I know you probably spend a lot of time combating selfishness, lying, and other similar issues, but how much time have you spent talking to your kids about the fact that God has their best interest in mind. And here's a thought..... He does even when we as parents do not.
I must admit, there have been times that I've tried to get my kids to do things that, if I'm honest with myself, I wanted them to do more than they wanted to do it. There are times that we may think we have their best interest in mind, but we fail to communicate with God on behalf of our kids. Let me challenge you to spend some time talking to God about your kids, and then talking to your kids about the fact that God has their best interest in mind. Choosing to follow His guidance and map of life is the only way we assure ourselves of the chance to navigate the paths before us.
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Monday, February 1, 2010
Recently I took a group of our student ministry volunteers to a one-day conference hosted by the Rethink Group called Orange. I have had a couple of opportunities to go to their yearly conference in Atlanta and it is great! So when the opportunity arose to get a one-day shot of the Orange Conference here locally.... I thought it would be great for some of our volunteers to hear and see about this idea.
The idea is that the color yellow represents light (the church) and red represents love and nurturing (the family). Together the two colors make orange. A partnership of church and family in raising and teaching our kids. That's a very quick overview, but you get the picture.
As a parent I recognize the need for other adults speaking truth into my kid's lives. It doesn't matter if they are saying the same thing I've been saying for years..... if that's what it takes for my kids to hear it..... then okay.
There is a show on MTV called Sweet Sixteen. If you have never seen it, check it out sometime. If you're like me one episode will be plenty. One word of caution.... your i.q. may drop a few points just being exposed to some of the stupidity. Basically it is a show about these kids with wealthy parents and the outlandish parties and gifts they get when they turn 16. Some of the stuff is unbelievable. One of the problems is that it can create a warped sense of reality for those of us that spend our time mingling with the normals.
One of the many problems I have with some of the attitudes on the show is..... when did it become more about what we give to our kids, or do for our kids than what we leave in them? There are so many things that are more important than the stuff I can give them or do for them.
Things like.... do they have an authentic relationship with God (do they know what that looks like by watching me)? Or.... do they know that I will always have their back? Or what about remembering that my wife and I are not the only adult influences in their life?
I think that over the years, we as parents have been given so many lists of what it takes to be a good parent that we feel like we just can't match up. So many christian authors have weighed in on what you should be doing or not doing, what the kids should or should not watch, what type of music they should or should not listen to, etc.... that we as parents begin to form some sort of checklist and when we can't check things off of the list..... we've failed.
Here's some encouragement mom and dad. Adam and Eve..... caused the downfall of the human race and raised a son who killed his brother; Noah... drinking problem; Abraham.... offered his wife up to someone else; Rebekah schemed to deceive her husband; David, Eli, Jacob......all had parenting issues. But just like them..... our humanness does not prevent God from using us.
God is at work in your family. Restoration and redemption are stories that your family can tell like no other family. And people need to hear your story. It's not about being perfect parents. It's about the legacy you leave in your kids when it comes to a relationship with God through His son Jesus. There is no "right" kind of parent level that you have to achieve to be used by God in the life of your kid.
Paul gave us, what I think is a pretty good blue print of a family structure....
Ephesians 6:1...."children obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right."
Ephesians 5:24....."now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands."
Ephesians 5:25...."husbands love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her."
Each family member's response to each other should reflect the attitude and response of Christ to them personally.
Reggie Joiner, founder of the Rethink Group, says in his book Think Orange......"the family exists, even in its imperfection, to display the heart of God to every generation." Don't beat yourself up mom and dad for the things you can't do or give...... leave your kids with something that will impact them forever.
The idea is that the color yellow represents light (the church) and red represents love and nurturing (the family). Together the two colors make orange. A partnership of church and family in raising and teaching our kids. That's a very quick overview, but you get the picture.
As a parent I recognize the need for other adults speaking truth into my kid's lives. It doesn't matter if they are saying the same thing I've been saying for years..... if that's what it takes for my kids to hear it..... then okay.
There is a show on MTV called Sweet Sixteen. If you have never seen it, check it out sometime. If you're like me one episode will be plenty. One word of caution.... your i.q. may drop a few points just being exposed to some of the stupidity. Basically it is a show about these kids with wealthy parents and the outlandish parties and gifts they get when they turn 16. Some of the stuff is unbelievable. One of the problems is that it can create a warped sense of reality for those of us that spend our time mingling with the normals.
One of the many problems I have with some of the attitudes on the show is..... when did it become more about what we give to our kids, or do for our kids than what we leave in them? There are so many things that are more important than the stuff I can give them or do for them.
Things like.... do they have an authentic relationship with God (do they know what that looks like by watching me)? Or.... do they know that I will always have their back? Or what about remembering that my wife and I are not the only adult influences in their life?
I think that over the years, we as parents have been given so many lists of what it takes to be a good parent that we feel like we just can't match up. So many christian authors have weighed in on what you should be doing or not doing, what the kids should or should not watch, what type of music they should or should not listen to, etc.... that we as parents begin to form some sort of checklist and when we can't check things off of the list..... we've failed.
Here's some encouragement mom and dad. Adam and Eve..... caused the downfall of the human race and raised a son who killed his brother; Noah... drinking problem; Abraham.... offered his wife up to someone else; Rebekah schemed to deceive her husband; David, Eli, Jacob......all had parenting issues. But just like them..... our humanness does not prevent God from using us.
God is at work in your family. Restoration and redemption are stories that your family can tell like no other family. And people need to hear your story. It's not about being perfect parents. It's about the legacy you leave in your kids when it comes to a relationship with God through His son Jesus. There is no "right" kind of parent level that you have to achieve to be used by God in the life of your kid.
Paul gave us, what I think is a pretty good blue print of a family structure....
Ephesians 6:1...."children obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right."
Ephesians 5:24....."now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands."
Ephesians 5:25...."husbands love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her."
Each family member's response to each other should reflect the attitude and response of Christ to them personally.
Reggie Joiner, founder of the Rethink Group, says in his book Think Orange......"the family exists, even in its imperfection, to display the heart of God to every generation." Don't beat yourself up mom and dad for the things you can't do or give...... leave your kids with something that will impact them forever.
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