Put It All on the Table

Several years ago I took a group of middle school kids to camp for the first time. I had been leading worship and speaking at camps for a long time, but this was my first time to take a group as their student pastor. I had only been at this church for a few weeks, and was really excited about the opportunity to get to know these kids and start forming some relationships.

The camp line-up was good.... Voddie Baucham preaching and Billy and Cindy Foote leading worship. It doesn't get much better than that, so I was pumped. The first day was pretty uneventful, but the second day blew up. I had to send a kid home... yeah, 2nd week on the job, first camp and I've got this little girl that I had to send home. But that was definitely the right move. It was another thing that confused me on that day though.

My senior pastor's daughter was at that camp. I was talking with her one night because I noticed that she did not have her bible with her in the bible study time. She told me she didn't have one. I assumed she was talking about not having one at that time, or that she forgot it at home. But as we talked a little more, she meant she did not have a bible. Her dad had been a pastor for years and this 14 year old girl did not have a bible.

Needless to say I got her one, and when we got back home I set up a time to go in and try to get some clarity on this issue. As I sat down and talked to her dad, I asked him, how is it that your daughter does not have a bible? His reply was something like this..... her mom and I have never wanted to put added pressure on our kids since they are already under so much scrutiny being a preacher's kid. We want them to make their own decisions, and come to faith because of their own realization not because their dad is a pastor. Wow! I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Counting on a kid to make the right decisions without giving them everything you know to be true and right is like telling them to go ahead and run with the scissors, and try jumping over the couch while you're at it. Sure enough, the philosophy backfired.

As a parent part of our responsibility to our kids is to allow them to make decisions, and then to accept the rewards and/or consequences. However, we are doing a huge disservice to them if we do not give them everything we know to be true and right. It's a given that they will make some poor decisions, just as you and I have done in our lifetimes. But the frequency of those bad decisions may be lessened if they have all of the information with which to make a decision.

Face it.... someone is going to give them information. You and I are not the only ones influencing their decisions, and quite frankly, we probably do not have the most influence. But the information we give them; the spiritual guidance that we are responsible for speaking into their lives can and will form values that will be used when it's time to decide.

I don't know about you, but I want a say so in what my kids decide. To think they will just find out on their own is nothing short of abuse. Talk to your kids about the tough things. Talk to them about the things that you know are waiting on them as they navigate the teenage years. Give them the wisdom that comes with one of the things you have that they do not.... years of life. They're not dumb, just inexperienced. Shed some light on the things that lurk in the shadows. The enemy is like a lion... looking for someone to devour. Put everything you know out on the table with the rest of the information they are getting. We can't expect them to make the right decision all of the time, but we set them up for failure if we don't say our part.